We all have these 'birds' in our lives. They are male. And they like to fly. They were meant to fly. It is how they were made and we know that.
When the male ego is healthy and flying, it inspires the best in us. We see a male in his own element, feeling good about who he is, and he inspires us to be all that we can be - just as we see a noble eagle flying over the valley, and we wish we had wings to soar after him.
We all have these male eagles (I mean Ego's) flying around us. They are our husband's, our sons, our neighbours, our co-workers. Some of the eagles (ego's) live close to home and are ours to feed and nourish. Some are more like stray cats which you might feed occasionally, but we know that we are not their primary care giver. But my thrust is: For all the Eagles (Ego's) that we are the primary care givers for - what kind of care do we give them?
Some women put those Eagle's in cages and feed them an occasional scrap. These eagles do not soar. Their wings are limp and lifeless. The eagle's eye is glazed over. He doesn't even think about flying any more. He sits on his single branch within his enclosure letting life go by. This EGO has not been properly fed or stroked. As women, we do this when we cease to tell our men how awesome they are. When we "NO" all their plans and goals. When we use put downs and verbally kick their legs out from under them. Then our eagles do not fly - they do not fly at all, except perhaps away.
Some women let the eagles fly all right - but on a cord. They are proud of the male eagle that they care give for, and will bring that eagle out to fly for you. But only on the woman's terms. You can fly this high and no more. You can go this far, then I will reign you in. You can fly when I let you out/show you off, but that is it. You are mine to control, and I will decide what you will or won't do. Hardly the noble bird the eagle was meant to be. As women we do that when we trot out his accomplishments - attached with the 'But' clause. "He is a great provider, - But hasn't had a raise in 3 years."
"He is a great athlete, - But he is sure getting a pot now."
"He is very good looking - but did you notice he is going bald?"
Or some women let their eagles - the Ego's they are primary care givers for, soar away into the heavens. But if they get too cocky, well, let's BLOW 'EM out of the air. You have seen these men at parties. They are telling a story or a joke. Suddenly BLAM! the wife-y says:
"NO, it wasn't Tuesday, it was THURSDAY!"
"How many times do I have to tell you.... it wasn't Edmonton, it was Calgary!"
"It wasn't the First time! You have it all wrong. What happened is...."
You can see by the look on his face, the guy has just been shot down and is losing altitude fast. (Probably because of the big hole in him).
The scenario we want for our Male Eagles is for them to be in good health and able to fly and be free to be all they can be. We want to assist the men in our lives to fly higher, and be better. We want to be the wind under their wings. Rather to limit or contain the eagle, lets let them soar to the heavens, starting with:
"You look Awesome today!"
"Here's the conquering HERO!" "
Wow! Look at YOU!"
"What a terrific job you are doing with that!"
"I admire you soooo much!"
Being the wind beneath the wings is not hard. It just might mean changing your focus a little. But that is not hard for us to do! WE ARE WOMEN!
Up with Healthy Ego's. The payoff just might be stronger homes and healthier marriages:
Proverbs 14:1: The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish pulls it down with her hands
Sincerely
Susan
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